Cancer, comebacks and call-ups
Photography: Daniela Porcelli/Zuma Press/PA Images
Five months can be a long time in football. In November 2017 goalkeeper Ann-Katrin Berger was dealt the devastating news she had cancer. Five months later she was named in the PFA Team of the Year. Here’s her story, in her own words.
This was the timeline: diagnosis, 17 November 2017; operation, 5 December; first game back, 4 February 2018. In the space of 76 days, my life changed completely. I was a fit and healthy footballer, battling for trophies with Birmingham City. Now I was fighting a completely different battle after being diagnosed with thyroid cancer.
When I found out the news, it was a shock. I’m sure everyone says the same thing. The timing was also not the best, although you could probably question when would be a good time to get this kind of news! It hadn’t even been a year since my dad had passed away, and my family was already struggling with this loss.
I feel like I’d actually come out stronger after losing my dad, as I felt I had to take his role in the family – like I had to be the strongest one. That’s something that would help me through this process.
I remember the conversation with my doctor when he said the words I was dreading: “You have thyroid cancer.” I was silent. A minute passed, maybe longer. You have different thoughts going through your head. We didn’t have a history of cancer in our family at all and as a footballer, you’re living a good lifestyle, eating well, and doing lots of exercise. Basically, everything a doctor would recommend you do. I was questioning: “Why me? Why is this happening now?”
And then I was finally able to ask him the question no one wants to ask: “Am I dying?” I never had an experience with cancer, I didn’t know what to expect. He told me I had a high percentage chance of survival. So my next question was simple: “Can I play football again?”
“If anyone reading this is going through it, all I would recommend is to stay focused on what you want to achieve, who you’re doing it for and what you’re going to do afterwards.”
Football was obviously a big part of my life and it had been a big part of my dad’s life as well. He worked so hard; every week, from Monday to Friday, he was always away from us for his job, so we only saw him at the weekend. He came with me to football every Sunday. That was our bonding time, a massive part of my childhood, and that is why it’s really important for me to play football. I just wanted to be able to get back on the pitch as soon as possible.
I think the doctor was now the one who was quite shocked! The first thing he said was that it was an unusual question to be asked straight away, which was quite funny, but I asked him to just go through the steps with me so I could recover in the best way.
As I said before, that was on 17 November – you don’t forget the dates – and less than three weeks later I had my operation. On 21 January I had radioiodine therapy, just to kill all the rest of the cancer cells, and then it was two more weeks before I was back doing what I love so much.
When I knew I was going to be playing again, I was so emotional. During my time out of the team, I had missed it so much. I was like a little kid who wasn’t allowed to play; it was as if someone had taken away my favourite toy. Remember how that felt?
We played against Reading in the FA Cup and we won 1-0. I enjoyed the game so much, playing with so much freedom. In my head, I just couldn’t stop thinking: “I’ve beaten cancer and here I am, after two months, playing football again.” For me, that was enough of a push to get through the game.
“A lot of people don’t realise what they have until it’s taken away, so I don’t take anything for granted anymore – I just enjoy life even more.”
A few months after this, I was named in the PFA Women’s Team of the Year, which was another massive shock. There are so many good goalkeepers in this league – and two of them were here at Chelsea before I joined the club – so I didn’t expect it. When I found out, I was lost for words. All I could say was, “Wow!” Anyone who knows me will find that funny because I’m not a person who gets surprised very often. To feel that affection from my fellow players, I just didn’t know what to do or to say.
There were no tears, just joy. I was proud of myself and what I’d achieved, but at the same time, I was so grateful for all the people around me. My family, really close friends, everyone who had supported me. They helped me get through this and at the end of it I had this trophy.
In a way, I’m lucky that I had one of the milder forms of cancer – I can’t imagine what people go through with one of the harsher types. If anyone reading this is going through it, all I would recommend is to stay focused on what you want to achieve, who you’re doing it for and what you’re going to do afterwards.
I set myself targets and I worked really hard for them. Now you can get up and do whatever makes you happy. Football is such an important part of my life and I enjoy it even more now. I think you can see it every time I’m on the pitch. I’m grateful and honoured to play. A lot of people don’t realise what they have until it’s taken away, so I don’t take anything for granted anymore – I just enjoy life even more.
Words: Claire Bloomfield
First published 10 December 2019